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Writer's pictureIain Adenis

Anxiety…. To have to be or to do?



 

 

Anxiety is a widely used, and often misused term in our current vocabulary. 

 

The prevalence of anxiety worldwide has seen a significant increase over the last 30 years. According to data compiled by the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation (IHME), the global prevalence of anxiety disorders increased by approximately 50% between 1990 and 2019.  So we can safely say that we are looking at an issue of significance

 

But there are lies, more lies, and then statistics! Too many questions arise about the fundamental nature of anxiety to hold such statements as absolutely true. However what we can say is that many of us are currently not feeling as well as we would like to, and anxiety is an apt way of describing this creeping sense of malaise. Instead of looking for discreet and exact explanations, let's explore how anxiety is turning up in our own lives.  I am not going to be looking at exact features and symptoms in this paper, merely offering some other ways of understanding this often-misunderstood condition

 

There are many ways of making sense of the term anxiety. Rather than using diagnostic criteria which themselves can be prescriptive and limiting, how about we start with some more human terms

 

“Somethings wrong, I don't belong”

“I want to escape, but don't know what to escape from or where to run to”

“I’m constantly worrying about things that might happen, and most of them never do”

 

What is actually going on for us? Here are three ways of thinking about anxiety. Do we ‘have’ anxiety? Are we ‘being ‘anxious? Or are we ‘doing’ anxiety?

 

 

“I have anxiety”

 

It can be argued that a diagnosis provides us for the useful framework to understand our own behaviour. We can begin to make sense of why we do what we do and it can give us helpful boundaries that prevent us from stumbling into the chaos of anxiety.  It is also useful for providing a systematic process of prescribing pharmacological interventions. Symptom management is often helpful so that we can get on with our daily activities minus the debilitating conditions that are often associated with anxiety.

 

A diagnosis can also trap us. It can limit our experiences and provide a false boundary that imprison us within our comfort zone.  It can give us an alibi that repels us from new opportunities (“because of my anxiety I can't do x, y, or z”).

 

Having a diagnosis can linked with the term ‘disorder’, implying a more persistent, excessive, and often irrational condition without a clear cause.  This is often associated with the sense of hopelessness and incurability.  The best we can do is manage the symptoms and hope they don't turn up in our lives.

 

“You’re being anxious”

 

Being anxious refers to a temporary emotional state often triggered by a specific situation or event. It is a normal reaction to stress or uncertainty, such as feeling nervous before an exam or interview. This feeling usually subsides once the stressful event passes. In other words, we know it's going to happen, it happens, and we ride the waves then it stops. We can often, either consciously or unconsciously set up a cognitive ‘list’ of those things that we believe will make us anxious.  We can prime ourselves to the onset of anxiety, as well as prime ourselves to its cessation.

 

If we have an inner list of things that may trigger this response, we are constantly looking for this old foe to appear in our lives.  This can be overwhelming and quite exhausting.  When was the last time you reviewed this list and determined what should or shouldn’t still apply?  We often forget that, as evolving humans, we outgrow this list….. but we haven’t told ourselves this!

 

“Anxiety is on me today”

 

This is based on an old Irish saying, “sadness is on me today”, implying that we have temporarily picked it up.  "Doing anxiety" refers to the active, ongoing behaviors and cognitive patterns that sustain or increase anxiety, as opposed to simply feeling or having anxiety. It reflects how anxiety becomes part of one's daily life through actions and responses.  In the world of Neuro Linguistic Programming, we call this a ‘strategy’.  In other words is a particular arrangement of internal and external behaviours that lead to a specific outcome.  It is a process that we go through that leads to a predictable end.  It is an active choice that has (or had) a helpful outcome. At some point in our lives this strategy was highly effective and kept us safe and secure. However we can often outgrow these strategies.  The problem is that we haven't told ourselves that!  So these programmes run and run, like an outdated computer programme until we recognise that the purpose has been outgrown.  We are pattern making machines at our core and continue with these patterns till we take the time to adapt and move on

 

Understanding our strategies gives us a useful way of adapting our behaviour. NLP gives us a range of methods to identify, unpack and adapt unresourceful behaviour Into something that is in alignment with our current set of needs.

 

Having a choice in how we react and respond is a fundamental principle of NLP.  Rather that feeling helpless and disempowered by such a powerful adversary, how would it be for you to be able to see anxiety with a sense of curiosity? What am I being told here?  Is this useful to me? Does this serve a purpose?

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